Childhood Behavior: More Than Meets the Eye

A child’s behavior can seem perplexing or concerning to both parents and teachers. Tantrums, withdrawal, nervous habits, or acting out can signal deeper issues. While some conduct is within the range of normal childhood development, other patterns may indicate emotional distress or trauma. Taking a look below the surface actions of children to explore potential underlying causes is important. Getting to the root of a child’s behavioral challenges requires patience, compassion, and, perhaps more importantly, a willingness to look beyond the external behaviors.

Looking Beyond Problem Behavior  

When a child frequently misbehaves, struggles to control their emotions, or otherwise violates the norms, the common reaction is correction or discipline. Nevertheless, punishment rarely gets to the root of unusual childhood conduct. Troubling behavior often serves as a symptom of an unaddressed need, difficulty regulating emotions, lack of skills, or a traumatic experience. Jumping to critique or impose consequences without understanding the motivations behind a child’s behavior will not provide them with the help and support they need. Uncovering the meaning behind actions before reacting to them can set the stage for growth.

Considering Trauma Triggers

Sometimes, difficult child behaviors stem from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). According to the professionals over at Aspire Psychological, events like abuse, neglect, household dysfunction, bullying victimization, violence, disasters, accidents, or sudden loss can trigger PTSD in children. Triggers related to a child’s past trauma may spur emotional reactions or unacceptable actions. 

For example, a child abused at an early age may act out violently when feeling threatened, or they might lose control of their emotions. Sensory inputs, certain environments, relationships, situations, or even time of year reminiscent of past trauma can also prompt PTSD symptoms. Figuring out when a child’s conduct is linked to trauma is a crucial step toward healing. 

Significance of Emotional Age  

An essential aspect of understanding childhood behavior involves a child’s emotional age and maturity level. While a child may physically be ten years old, trauma can stunt their emotional growth. The child may behave in line with the developmental age that corresponds to when the trauma occurred. Having an understanding of where a child is emotionally helps to contextualize and respond appropriately to their actions. Moving forward requires meeting the child at their current emotional level, not their actual, real age. 

Building Relationships and Emotional Skills  

For those kids exhibiting problematic behaviors that are related to past trauma or developmental delays, intervention cannot simply aim to correct external actions. Foundational to any behavioral or emotional growth is the nurturing of secure attachments and trusting relationships. Children also need coaching on understanding and managing their emotions before they try to learn to self-regulate their behavior. Ongoing opportunities to process past trauma verbally can also help kids master PTSD triggers. 

Cultivating Self-Awareness and Coping Skills

As children become more aware of their inner emotional landscapes and common triggers, they can develop positive coping strategies. Teaching kids how to self-soothe, calm down through breathing, resolve interpersonal problems verbally, and ask for help when they need it are invaluable life skills. Children may also benefit from individual, trauma-informed therapy to make sense of past events and build resilience. With age-appropriate language and activities, even young children can grow in self-understanding.

Conclusion

With compassion, emotional support, skills training, and potentially counseling, troubling childhood behaviors can transform over time. Unpacking the hidden drivers of conduct issues through patient relationship building and skill development can set children up for success behaviorally and socio-emotionally. No matter a child’s inner turmoil or past trauma, their actions need not define or limit them indefinitely. All children have reserves of resilience and the capacity to heal and outgrow early behavioral challenges in order to thrive.